can't do shit [crap good]

runs on rain forest sawdust [crap good]

is a piece of technology created by Satan (Steve Jobs) to steal all of our money! [crap good]

filled with whores [crap good]

was only blended once [crap good]

Steve Jobs is apparently a moron if he thought it was a good idea. [crap good]

is called an iPad [crap good]